Once upon a time, there was a princess. Her name was Princess Consuela Michele. She lived with her beloved Prince Paul Daniel in a "castle" by the lake (which some people in the kingdom called a "creek" and still others called a "crick," for it was a strange & mysterious kingdom). Their kingdom's wealth was abundant, yet the villagers took the royal couple for granted.
The princess loved pizza. Loved it, loved it, loved it. There were 2 nearby food vendors who made the most delicious pizza. They hired a "pizza delivery man" who would bring these delicious creations to the royal couple when they called to them & placed a request.
Now the pricess was an eccentric (lazy) young woman. When this brave-hearted pizza man came to the threshold of the castle, it was usually she who answered the door. She greeted this poor soul wearing whatever items of clothing happened to have been available, clean, and comfortable when she returned home from her day's toils. The ensembles varied widely, but the common theme in them was comfort. The most curious & notable of these items still currently in rotation are as follows (descriptions written in the common tongue):
Red flannel pajama pants with monkeys on them
Black cotton pajama pants with red & pink hearts on them
Striped flannel pajama pants (is this a theme?) with a giant hole in the crotch that are at least a decade old
Various other yoga/ workout/ sweat/ PJ pants
A black cotton t-shirt with the word "bride" spelled out in rhinestones on the front
A t-shirt with the phrase "chicken f&%*$#" on the front
A tank top with the phrase "shut up mein bitch" on the front (usually masked by a hoodie)
25 various cotton t-shirts with the word "Bayer" on them. Strange phenomenon.
Sometimes the princess did not even bother wearing a brassiere under these upper body garments. It was sad. A travesty really that these young men who were so kind to bring the princess her beloved pizza had to feast their eyes on such a sight. One evening, when the fair princess was simply donning what the villagers called a "Steelers Super Bowl t-shirt" and navy sweat-trousers, a subdued version of her evening outfit if there ever was one, she thought she heard the pizza man exclaim as he slammed the door of his carriage, "My eyes!! Damn my eyes!!!!"
There is a subconscious connection that you aren’t aware of. As a woman you are genetically programmed to be subservient to the male provider of food. Normally you would feel this bond to your husband. But since the Pizza Man has become the provider you are subconsciously trying to seduce him and become bonded to him. That is why you where the loose clothing sans brassiere.
ReplyDeleteWow Carl, you are a lot "deeper" than I thought.
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