Shakespeare Was Smart

It hit me while watching Schindler's List again recently.  At the end of the war, when the tables are suddenly turned and the Nazis become the powerless ones, you realize what a charade it all was. The slaves become free & the master becomes a hunted criminal.  How quickly the roles change.  I've seen the same thing when corporations downsize and everyone instantly becomes equal.  Fear evens the playing field.  The managers & directors & VPs become equal to the rest of us.  It makes you realize how ridiculous the charade is afterall.  It's like a children's game or a high school play.  Then when the storm passes, we all go back to it.  It's hard to take the illusion seriously once you've seen behind the curtain, but before you know it, the masks are on again.  Shakespeare said "All the world's a stage."  That guy knew what he was talkin' about. 

In kindergarten, I learned that we are all created equal in the eyes of God.  I firmly believe & try to practice that principle to this day, despite the fake hierarchies.  Look around.  All of the people who act or think they are more important than others.  In all fairness, we all enable the act.  We need it.  We let others feel & seem more important because we need them to be smarter, wiser, etc.  Doctors, bosses, parents, clergy, all authority figures.  I think we've seen how fallible they can be.  Think of all of the news stories you've heard about doctors, priests, VPs, law enforcement officials abusing their positions & taking advantage of those they feel are weaker.  We give people too much power.  More than they deserve.  Maybe because it makes us feel more protected.  It's safer to think that those in charge of our health, safety, well-being, souls, education are somehow smarter, more powerful, less human than we are.  It's hard to deal with a chink in that armor.  Scary.  Think about the first time you realized your dad wasn't Superman or your mom wasn't an angel with heavenly powers.  It can be disheartening when the 4th wall is broken.

I've been to a lot of doctors lately, and I realized a long time ago that they are just plain old human beings.  They have bad days, get tired, get cranky, get distracted, make mistakes.  I've seen it quite a bit.  We get angry when these things happen because we expect them to be super-human.  Because they hold our lives & the lives of those we love in their hands.  It's really hard to face the truth.  The only comfort left for me is that they have a great deal of education about medicine.  That's pretty much it.  That is what separates them from me. 

I think that facing the fact that those we hold in such high esteem are just like us is part of growing older.  A very scary part.  It doesn't mean we don't respect what they do.  We can either let this knowledge make us powerless, living in fear & anxiety, or we can let it make our faith in higher power that much stronger.  Right now, I think I'm somewhere in the middle.

So the next time your boss or your doctor says something that intimidates you or makes you feel powerless, remember that it's just an act.  Imagine him without his costume & make-up, and you will be able to look him in the eye as your equal and know that you are just as important to the world.

Lipstick

I am going to try to declare myself "well".  I don't know if it will work, but I'm giving it my best shot.  Am I 100%?  No.  Am I feeling better than I was a couple of months ago?  Yes.  Sometimes.  I feel like I'm on a good path for wellness finally.  It's not perfect.  There are still things that might have to be tweaked or changed or whatever, but I feel like it's a good starting point.  Before, there was no starting point.  Just waiting.  And chaos.  What sparked the change in attitude?  Before there were just sweats, t-shirts, naps, no make-up, bad hair days.  The other day I actually put on lipstick.  I mean like real lipstick, not lip balm or gloss.  The dark, raspberry-colored lipstick I've always worn.  Plum Wine.  And then I even put a layer of gloss over top.  I took that as a good sign.  The fact that I actually felt like fixing myself up to go out of the house.  I'm going to let it represent my ascent back into the real world.  My return to normalcy.  I'm going back to work on August 2.  It's going to be a new chapter.  I'm comin' back, baby!  Ready or not!

Don't Stand So Close To Me

I LOVE Glee.  And I love Matthew Morrison, who plays the teacher.  But why does he have to cheat on me???  He denies dating Kelly Brook, but it has to be true cause the tabloids NEVER lie.  I mean, what does she have that I ... ok, I almost finished typing that without laughing.  But I have WISDOM, Matthew.  That's right, wisdom.  And I do not have a British accent.  I don't really know if that's a pro or a con, but it should still count for something.
Read the sadness here.

Of course, I guess I shouldn't complain about it because I AM married.  And Paul can sing Journey with the best of 'em.  And he does a mean robot.  Take that, Matthew.  Yep, I got me my own song & dance man!  That should give you something to be jealous about!

I'll have to blog more about Glee soon.  That should be a goal of mine.  I know, I really know how to aim high, don't I?  It's something they'd call a "stretch goal" at work.  I like going above & beyond.