ABC Not-So-Family

Paul & I have noticed that the ABC Family network is not what we would classify as "family friendly" TV.  We are not exactly prudes either.  To us, a network that touts family programming should cater to shows that are appropriate for ALL members of a given family, including young children, especially during early primetime. 

Some of their original shows & movies have rather suggestive & mature themes & jokes.  We don't even watch the shows themselves.  We are only going by the previews we catch while we're watching, say, a Harry Potter marathon.  Clips with dialogue about French kissing, venereal disease, lots & lots of teen sex & pregnancy, etc.  Are these really acceptable topics for a 10-yr-old?  Someone needs to rethink the program content vs. the target audience & make some serious adjustments. 

And it doesn't seem to be just one show.  There are quite a few.  Even their advertising for shows on other networks (E!, for example) are inappropriate.  Even during cartoons! 

Can we please leave it to the other 2000 channels to corrupt our youth?  Or can the executives please rename the network something like ABC Teen Sex?  Just so we know what we're really getting.  There's nothing worse than burying innuendo in a goody-two-shoes, Hanna Montana-ish, Disney-ified sitcom.  It's insulting, but worse, it's not good for the kids.

Dumbass Plus A Bunch of Poor Traumatized Kids

Oh, TLC. Don't make me boycott you.  Kate Gosselin makes me want to vomit.  I don't know of a single person who thinks that she has any redeeming qualities or talents, yet she's everywhere in the media.  This is what I hate about our entertainment industry.  I am NOT entertained by her.  At all.  The only thing her appearance on Dancing With The Stars did for me was to make me feel better about myself for not being as much of a bitch as her and for having had more dance talent in my high school drama club productions.

Per CNN regarding her new show:
"The second special will give a “behind-the-scenes” look at what it’s like to be Kate. Notes the TLC statement, “Inside Kate’s World” is a special that will provide a “unique, never before seen glimpse into the day-to-day routine of the single mother, entrepreneur, best-selling author, dance partner and friend.”"

NO ONE CARES.  Please stop allowing her to continue to exploit her children for the sake of the $$.  Ok, I'm done.

Predictable Boots

Follow-Up To What's My Age Again?!

Above are some not-very-good pictures of my new motorcycle boots.  I took them for a spin today on the bike.  They're actually kinda cute, right?  I used some sound decision-making this time, too.  Note the wedge heel & squared-off toe, both of which are supposed to lend themselves to my quest for comfortable cuteness.  I even went against my natural tendency to go the cheap route.  (I don't even shop at Payless anymore.)  Alas, as I predicted, they are NOT comfortable.  See the metal plate on the heel & the round piece on the ankle?  These are there for my protection.  They are either metal or hard platic pieces that are there to make sure my bones are not shattered if I fall off the bike.  The entire boot is reinforced for protection.  This means it is stiff & unforgiving, causing soreness to my ankles, heels, and the balls of my feet.  I'm not sure there will be any "breaking in" for these puppies, but Paul remains optimistic.  We all know he is always right.  Hrmph.  We'll see this time.  We'll just see.  I'll keep you all posted, as I know everyone will be on the edge of their proverbial seats all season, as deeply concerned & obsessed as I am with my goal of comfortable recreation.

Why I Married My Husband

He makes me laugh until I pee myself.  For real.  He routinely makes me laugh so hard that I lose control of my bodily functions.  I am so serious.  He has made me laugh so hard that I cannot catch my breath many, many times.  A few of these times, I actually threw up.  I know, that is absolutely ridiculous.  That an adult woman would actually vomit from laughing.  In all fairness, I have a history of throwing up a lot.  It doesn't take much.  In recent months, my body has decided it would rather evacuate the bladder than the stomach when I find something funny.  When he catches me off guard with a joke, it can induce such an extreme laugh that I simply cannot contain myself.  You know the kind where no noise comes out?  While this is happening, I realize that I am losing control, and I panic, trying deperately to regain command of my faculties.  All the while, he is either laughing at my reaction or trying to contain his own laughter for my sake, which only makes me laugh harder, and I begin choking.  I have asthma, so that makes it even harder for me to catch my breath, and I inevitably choke until I cannot breathe.  I come very close to passing out.  I have no doubt, it's all quite a ludicrous scene. 

Tonight, we had been out & were returning home.  He pulled the car into the driveway.  As I was collecting my belongings, he reached into the back seat & grabbed the most hideous silver foil windshield protector thingie that anyone has ever seen.  You know, the things that came in vogue in the 80s/90s (maybe?) that protect your car interior from the sun.  But this one is made of silver metallic reflective material.  He's had it in his car since we met, but I don't recall him ever using it before.  It's so horrible that, if he did, I'm sure I blocked the memory.  Anyway, as he began actually placing this object in the window, he said, "I'm gonna ghetto this bitch up."  Well, this whole scenario struck me as the funniest thing I had ever seen/ heard.  First of all, the fact that he was actually placing this monstrosity in our car window was absurd, and I started picturing the neighbors' reactions.  Secondly, the statement was so apropos & out-of-the-blue, that I just lost it.  I peed on the leather seats of the Malibu.  Yes I did.  I had to change my clothes when I got in the house.  And I am not even apologizing for it.  That's why I married him.

A1A Beachfront Avenue

Florida is awesome.  I never went to Disney World as a kid or Daytona Beach for Spring Break or anything, so I was not really acquainted with Florida.  I am used to cold Atlantic Ocean water.  When it's 75 degrees out, you usually freeze if you try to go in the water in late April in New Jersey or North Carolina.  Not in southern FL.  It's awesome!  You can just traipse on in there with no hesitation.  Yes, it's very humid, but if you're staying on the beach, you don't care.  The ocean breeze is refreshing, and you can just go into the ocean to cool off. 

We also had a fantastic pool that overlooked the intercoastal waterway between the mainland & the shore.  Again, the water was so warm, even in the morning.  I could've stayed there for the entire trip - especially considering that they served delicious fruity drinks at the tiki bar.  The kind that have maraschino cherries in them.  No umbrellas though.  But they are still sweet & dangerous.

The Keys were nice too.  Beautiful.  The water is different.  Still very warm, but a different color because of all of the plant & animal life.  Next time, we'd like to go farther south to Key West & stay longer. 

Somehow, we ended up going to 3 different casinos & a Jai-Alai (pronounced hi-li) betting joint.  We always end up at gambling places.  I swear to you, I don't really like to gamble that much.  I get mad when I lose $20.  I ended up breaking even.  Paul cleared around $100.  They didn't even have the table games he likes, but somehow we spent quite a bit of time there.  I can't explain it.  Maybe it's the bright & shiny lights or the sparkly money.  I do like sparkly things.  I have no idea.  Maybe it was the fact that I was carded at 2 of the casinos.  Yeah, that's right.  And my husband was not.  Both times, the 2 of us walked into the casino at the same time, and both guards stopped just ME.  One of them was even on the phone.  He interrupted his phone conversation to stop me.  And they both scrutinized that ID, let me tell you.  You blog followers know how I hate aging (see "What's My Age Again?!"), so that should give you a hint at how excited I was.  I made a big production of getting out my license & smiling broadly for the very serious security personnel.  I'm not gonna lie.  It was awesome.

  The Jai-Alai was fun.  I had no idea how the sport was played.  It took us a while to figure it out.  You watch it & bet on it kinda like it's a horse race.  It's really kinda cool & different.  Those guys are crazy though.  The ball moves at like 150 mph, and all they wear for protection is a little helmet.  No pads or anything.  Crazazy, I tell you.

It was a wonderful vacation.  Really nice to get away with my love.  I know I haven't been working for a while and that it might seem like I've been on "vacation," but believe me, it's not the same.  It's so nice to get away from any & all responsibilities, duties, worries, problems.  To just be.  To let the sun & water heal & restore.  To close your eyes & just hear waves & laughter.  THAT is a vacation.