Sad Animal Stories

I have an irrationally strong emotional reaction to any and all stories about pets or other animals that are not entirely happy.  I actually get physically anxious.  I haven't been to PetSmart in years because of the cats that the Humane Society has there for adoption.  I've left there crying more than once.  I had to ban myself for my own good.

I swear at the TV when I see an ad for an animal charitable organization.  You know the ones.  The ones akin to the starving African children ads.  The ones that show beaten & crippled dogs & cats.  The ones with Sarah McLaughlin wailing in the background.  It is making me anxious just typing about it.  Damn you, Sarah.  Paul makes me change the channel.  He also throws away any solicitations for donations that come in the mail from the Humane Society, Animal Friends, the ASPCA, etc.  He knows what will happen when I open one & see the pic of the dying dog.  He will either have a wife with an emotional breakdown or 18 assorted cats.  Or both for that matter.

My mom likes to tell me sad animal stories.  She has known me for 36 years, but she does not learn her lesson.  Each time is the same.  As soon as I smell that she's about to go into a tale (no pun intended) of pet woe, I tell her repeatedly to stop.  I practically stick my fingers in my ears & say, "lalalalalala.... can't hear you!"  Doesn't matter.  She is going to tell her story.  The end is always the same too.  "But the cat lived & was adopted by a nice family."  Oh ok.  That erases the fact that I'm now bawling because before it was adopted, it was trapped under ice for 3 days, lost 2 legs, and wandered through the woods with no food for 6 weeks. 

Don't even let me watch Animal Planet.  For real. 

I've also been known to cry at the vet's office.  If I see an old or sick animal, forget it.  The vet thinks I'm nuts, I'm sure.  I've had to take my beloved cat Fresno & leave him for surgery a couple of times.  I'm sure my behavior was a bit neurotic.  I am also sure I am on some crazy cat lady list they undoubtedly have.  I imagine the staff warning each other before I come in.  "The 10 o'clock is on the list.  Consider this your warning."

Oh, and here's a request.  Please don't let me see any signs posted on poles for missing pets.  That's the worst.  Imagining how it would feel to lose a pet makes me go into a panic attack.  My instinct is to immediately round up a posse to scour the neighborhood.  If you're with me & I happen to catch sight of a missing pet sign, please distract me.  I beg you.  Anything will do, but food works best.  "Hey, let's go get some pizza!!"  That would be perfect.