Microwaveable Panties

Ok, I declare that this blog has gotten way too serious lately, so...

One of the reasons I like my super-doc is that some of the treatments he prescribes are so far-fetched that they are actually very amusing.  Case in point: 

As a treatment for what we'll refer to as a chronic "female problem (*wink wink* ladies)," he recently recommended a rather unorthodox treatment.  Keep in mind that Dr. K is a small Indian man in his late sixties.  I don't know why, but that makes the story funnier.  The dialogue went something like this:

Dr. K:  Are you still suffering from [said female problem]?
Me:  Yes, I am.  It's really frustrating.
Dr. K:  Oh no, even with the medicine I prescribed you?
Me:  Yes.
Dr. K:  Well, you could microwave.
Me:  Whaaaa????
Dr. K:  Microwave.
Me:  Microwave what exactly??
Dr. K:  Your underwear.  For 5 minutes.
Me:  BWWWAAAAAAAA.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr. K:  haha
Me:  I'VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Dr. K:  No?  Hahaha.
Me:  hahahaha..... My underwear??  Every day?
Dr. K:  I had a patient who had [said female problem] for 30 years.  She microwaves her panties, and it's gone!
Me:  Did you say 5 minutes or 5 seconds?!  hahahaha
Dr. K (as he pulls out an article):  I believe it's minutes.  Let me see...  Yes.  Slightly moist panties.  5 minutes.  The temperature of wash water is not high enough.  The microwave is hot enough to kill the [source of said female problem].
Me:  Wow, I did NOT know that!  hahahahaha....
Dr. K:  Call the fire department ahead of time to warn them & see how it works. 
Me:  hahahahahaha.... ok, I'll try anything at this point.  I'll just warn my husband in advance.

I have relayed this story to a select group of friends as both a real suggestion and an amusing anecdote.  I will admit I have not tried it yet.  I was telling Peg about it recently, and she was very, very concerned.  About lots of things.  Most had to do with synthetic fibers, elastic, lace, melting, burning, lots of bad scenarios.  She actually researched it online & found that a better alternative might be ironing.  Then we decided that someone should invent either microwavable panties or [female problem]- proof panties.  This is what happens when 2 chemists talk about such things. 

So if Paul finds me ironing the crotches of all my underwear later & tries to have me committed, tell him it could be worse.  I could be microwaving them.