The Sudan

No, not the African nation.  The lethal but miraculous cough medicine that Paul's doctor prescribes.  I don't know what it's really called, but that is the mysterious name that I've seen on the label.  It's this orange-ish liquid mixture with some sort of narcotic in it, and it does wonders for any sort of cold or cough.  It probably does wonders for anything because, like I said, it has narcotics in it.  We have found out the hard way that it also has some sort of poisonous ingredient that is there (thank God) solely to prevent the abuser (Paul) from overdosing.  In other words, you overdose on the poison & vomit before you have the chance to OD on the more harmful active ingredients.  It's ingenious, really.  It's dummy (Paul)-proof.

Ok, here's why I'm being so mean to Paul.  Believe me, he has earned this one.  Paul's theory with ANY medication is this:  "I'm a big man.  I need twice the recommended dose."  Now he knows damn well it does NOT work that way.  But, because he is a junky, he has overdosed on the Sudan, not once, but TWICE.  That's right.  Just in the 4 1/2 years we have known each other, he has taken enough at one time (in other words, chugged from the bottle without measuring) to poison himself to the point of vomiting on 2 separate occasions.  I thought I was going to have to stage an intervention there for a while.  Then he has the nerve to say to me when giving me advice on taking drugs, "Baby, I'd never tell you to take anything that would hurt you."  Ok, but your track record does not exactly instill confidence.  Know what I'm sayin'?

The Sudan OD incident I remember most clearly was early on in our relationship.  We had both been sick (uh, kinda passing it back & forth if ya know what I mean), and he was still working in IT at Mountaineer.  His boss came to his desk & found him in less than desirable condition.  All he could mutter was, "Get James," as he ran outside to throw up.  On the generator.  Poor James had to drive him home in that condition.  He had apparently been carrying the Sudan bottle around with a straw all damn day.  It's a wonder he wasn't mixing it with tonic water & a twist.

It's been a long time since we've seen any of the Sudan.  In Paul's defense, it REALLY makes you feel so much better!!  I recently had a cold & still have the remnants of the accompanying cough.  It got me to reminiscing about when he used to illegally share his Sudan with me.  I don't know how to go about asking my own doctors for such a thing.  I'm sure they would think I was a drug addict.  Paul's doctor is a bit, uh, "old school".  That's what we'll call him.  Even his pharmacist hesitated at filling the script one time, if that tells you anything. 

Ah, the Sudan.  I guess it's best that we haven't had any for a while, lest we both end up practicing 12-step programs.